Chat GPT Therapy - Finding your hidden values.

Now, I’m not saying that Chat GPT should replace your therapist… but this shit was pretty powerful! Paste the below prompt into Chat GPT to help uncover your sense of self, and what your true values are. I’ve also put together a guide to help identify your values here.

Paste the following:

I want to uncover the masks I'm currently wearing, and the illusions I'm believing. Please guide me through this process by asking me 8 reflective questions, one at a time, to help me recognise the stories I'm telling myself. After I answer the 10th question, please step into the role of my higher self and analyze my responses. Identify the top negative patterns present in my life and the top positive patterns I can embrace and grow. Be direct and truthful. Tough love is welcome. Provide me with a list of core values which align with my true self. Provide me with daily affirmations to support my growth, actionable steps to change my behaviors, and embody my authentic self. A message of encouragement from my higher self to celebrate how far I've come on my journey.

All the best, Jake.

Beneath the Mask - What is Masking for Borderlines, and what can you do about it?

I have struggled—actually, I still struggle—with maintaining a sense of identity. Unfortunately, this is a common experience for people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). In the past, I thought of myself as a “chameleon”—constantly adjusting my personality depending on who I was with. I would say things I didn’t truly believe, do things I didn’t want to do, and mould myself to fit in, all because I craved acceptance and validation. More than anything, I wanted to feel like I was enough.

What Is Masking in Borderline Personality Disorder?

Masking in BPD refers to the act of hiding or suppressing emotions, behaviors, or symptoms to appear more “normal” or socially acceptable. Many people with BPD do this to:

• Avoid rejection or abandonment

• Maintain relationships

• Conform to societal expectations

But constantly masking who you are comes at a cost. Over time, it erodes your sense of self, making it difficult to understand your own values, goals, and identity.

Why Do People with BPD Mask?

The need to mask often stems from early childhood experiences—especially in environments where emotional expression was discouraged, invalidated, or met with unpredictable reactions. Many individuals with BPD have experienced:

• Emotional neglect – Growing up in a household where expressing emotions felt unsafe

• Trauma – Learning to suppress emotions as a defense mechanism

• Inconsistent caregiving – Adapting to unpredictable parental responses by mirroring others

For example, a child who is repeatedly told to “stop being dramatic” or is met with anger when they express distress may learn to conceal their true emotions and adopt a more socially acceptable facade.

The Psychological and Neurological Impact of Masking

Masking isn’t just a behavioral habit—it has deep neurological and psychological roots. Emotional dysregulation, which is common in BPD, makes social interactions overwhelming, reinforcing the need to suppress emotions. Additionally, the stigma surrounding BPD can make individuals feel pressured to hide their struggles to avoid judgment.

While many people with BPD appear highly functional in work, social, or public settings, the cost of masking is often a dysfunctional private life. Suppressed emotions don’t just disappear—they tend to resurface in unhealthy or explosive ways, particularly with those we trust most, such as our Favourite Person (FP).

That’s why people who only know me casually might never suspect I have BPD. In fact, you’d be surprised how many individuals with BPD you’ve met without realizing it. But if you ask my close friends or past relationships, they’d tell you a very different story.

Overcoming Masking and Rebuilding Identity

For anyone with BPD, addressing masking behaviors is essential. The key is twofold:

1. Developing healthy coping mechanisms – Tools like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) help manage emotional crises without relying on masking.

2. Rebuilding a sense of self – After years of mirroring others, it’s crucial to rediscover who you are beyond the mask.

This means asking deep questions:

• What are my values?

• What are my boundaries?

• What makes me me?

It sounds simple, but after years of masking, these questions can feel overwhelming.

My Journey to Self-Discovery

In my own healing journey, I’ve started actively exploring my identity—figuring out what I truly stand for, what my goals are, and what kind of life I want to build. Rediscovering myself has been both exciting and empowering. It’s given me a sense of control and confidence that I never had before.

But it hasn’t been easy. For a long time, I didn’t have the answers to the questions I was asking myself. That realization alone showed me how deeply disconnected I was from my own identity.

If you’re struggling with identity loss in BPD, know that you’re not alone. Healing isn’t about “fixing” yourself—it’s about rediscovering who you were before the world told you who to be.

I’ve put together a guide to help people who suffer with BPD work towards reclaiming their sense of self, with a goal to feel more confident in ones own shoes, and reduce the need to mask themselves. You can find it here.

All the best. Jacob.